benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
