1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
