Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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