is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
