road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
