watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize