i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
