wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
