laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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