Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
