Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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