Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
