$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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