I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
