i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
