he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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