Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
