Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Use "feeling words"
Yay
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
