If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
farters have to be the big spoon...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
