The maid of honor just puked.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
