man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
