it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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