Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
