She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
