There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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