Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
