So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
