When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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