The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Someone came in the potted fern
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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