he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
