dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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