A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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