so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
