Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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