Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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