My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
