why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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