so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
