His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
