Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
