1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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