we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
