she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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