just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
