and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
