i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
