my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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