what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
