We're like a lot better than the average bears
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize