It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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