Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
