he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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