the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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