I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
