I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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