the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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