Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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