Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
