So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
