Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
