That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
