I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
