why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
